Party of Five

You would think that with as many cookbooks as I own, I'd always be using them to cook, but it's not usually the case. I do use many of the baking books over and over again, but there's something about cracking open a new cookbook to discover all the new recipes that's very exciting. That new book smell and how the pages are pressed tightly together--never been touched by hands--that just adds to the pleasure of soaking in the beautiful pictures and lists of ingredients. I'll probably never make even a fraction of all those recipes, but I guess it's like watching the Food Network--you get the pleasure of it without all the cleanup.

One book that I found myself reading cover to cover is called "Eat Me: The Food and Philosophy of Kenny Shopsin."  Kenny Shopsin is the owner of Shopsin's -- formerly a NYC grocery store, now a food stall in the Chelsea Market. But to just know that, doesn't begin to describe what a character Kenny is and I don't think I can appropriately describe him with mere words either. I'll let you discover him on your own. In fact, if you want the entire Shopsin's experience, there's a documentary called "I Like Killing Flies" that will immerse you in a bit of Kenny's world. That's how I first heard of him, became fascinated and count myself as one of his many fans. Now if you know anything of Kenny, you'd know that he could care less that I or anyone else considers himself as one of his fans. In fact, he'd probably throw you out of his restaurant just for saying something so rediculous. And that's what I admire about him. He doesn't give a rip what you or anyone else thinks of him. He loves to feed people, but it's definitely on his terms, not yours.

There's a poem in the book written by one of Kenny's long-suffering customers which describes one of Kenny's many "policies." Shopsin's will not serve any party larger than four. No exceptions. Kenny explains that he only has four burners on his stove and it messes up his timing if he has to try to get more than four plates out at once. Makes sense.

Party of Five
You could put a chair at the end
or push the tables together
but don't bother
This banged-up little restaurant
where you would expect no rules at all
has a firm policy against seating
parties of five


And you know you are
a party of five


It doesn't matter if one of you
offers to leave or if
you say you could split into
a party of three and a party of two
or if the five of you come back tomorrow
in Richard Nixon masks and try to pretend
that you don't know each other
It won't work: you're a party of five


Even if you're a beloved regular
Even if the place is empty
Even if you bring logic to bear
Even if you're a tackle for the Chicago Bears
it won't work
You're a party of five
You will always be a party of five
a hundred blocks from here
a hundred years from now
you will still be a party of five
and you will never savor the soup
or compare the coffee or
hear the wisdom of the cook
and the wit of the waitress or 
get to hum the old-time tunes
among which you will find
no quintets

                                 -Robert Hershon